How to Be True to Yourself

Updated: Dec 18, 2019

If you’re needing mental health assistance please call BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636. Or if social anxiety has got you good, you can always message for help at or text White Wreath at 0410 526 562

Remember too that nobody is perfect. We all must learn to accept our mistakes and move on. Being confident in yourself is also about acknowledging your faults and not getting bogged down. Nobody gets to be the ideal person so why expect yourself to be?

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Staying true yourself

The world can be a big confusing place, crammed with people and contradictory voices, telling you to be more like one thing and less like another. The media is obviously terrible for this. Unrealistically thin models sport designer clothes, stars bedazzle with perfect charm and wit, TV presenters flash too-white smiles and the women’s ‘assets’ are bigger than any you’ve ever seen in real life.

Then the people in your own life can present other pressures. Family members can have demanding expectations, as can friends. When you think about all the different unrealistic ideals you could become victim to, it is remarkable that any of us get through each day without breaking down.

The reason we do is our strong sense of selves. By keeping a distinction between what we want and what others want, everything else becomes background noise to our lives, no more than a faint hum in the background.

Sometimes though, when we are feeling out of sorts, we can succumb to the whims of others and confuse them with our own. When this happens you might need to take some rest and focus on your wellbeing to reboot your confidence. You will soon be back on track and living life on your own terms, not those of others.

A confidence reboot

If you feel yourself losing a sense of who you are and what you want in life, it’s time to pause and recharge.

First think about what you’ve wanted in the past, what’s made you happy and how you achieved it. Rediscover who you are because a strong sense of identity is a valuable part of good self confidence and living well.

Perhaps what you want now isn’t the same as what you wanted in the past. In which case, this is a very exciting moment for you because you have the rest of the world open to you to look for something new to pursue. It’s okay for your dreams to change. You don’t have to have a fixed plan.

Write a list of goals that you think would make you happy. Then make a plan for how to achieve them. Getting lost in the research for possible projects can be satisfying on its own. This is your life and you can do with it as you please.

Focusing back in on what you want and going after it will help you to reinforce your confidence. With healthier levels of self-esteem you will be ready to engage fully with your life.

Of course, others will have their opinions. They might judge you or disapprove but who cares? You want to become an actor rather than a lawyer? Go for it. Want the tattoo? Get the damn tattoo. You don’t want to get married even though all your friends are all doing it. That’s fine!

People are entitled to their opinions. Try not to judge them or take offense from it. Yes, they might be a boring old stick in the mud to you, because they hate tattoos. But they have other interesting things about them and you can take from them whatever you find useful, while politely refusing the rest and accepting that they are free to think differently to you.

Don’t feel bad about spending time to think about yourself either. There is a big difference between self-care and self-obsession. Remember, it’s never selfish to focus on yourself when you are at a low point. Ultimately, by helping yourself you will find it easier to help others.

Believe in yourself

Once you are really clear about who you are and what you want from life, start by believing in yourself. Feel confident you can and will put your plans into action. Know that if you’ve learnt to accept and love yourself, others will find it easier to do so too.

This way of thinking will also help you to surpass setbacks easier. Life is never fair or easy. Sometimes difficulties will come along and you will have to put everything else on hold to overcome them. Belief in yourself and a strong sense of who you are will help you to pick yourself back up again. You will find it a lot easier to block out unfair judgements of you without taking them to heart.

It’s not always easy

Sometimes troubles can build up and it all feels too much. This can bring us down. We might lose confidence and forget what’s good about ourselves. This is the moment to restart from scratch and refocus in to remember who we are.

We are all fighters in one way or another. Someone else might tell you you’re weak or fragile. They might think you’re not worth their while. But you know yourself better than anyone else, even those closest to you. So contradict them. People might appear weak when they are going through dark times and struggling with multiple problems. But this only shows how strong that person is to be able to continue despite everything that’s weighing them down. Others have no right and no basis to judge what they don’t understand.

Be the best version of yourself you can be

Remember too that nobody is perfect. We all must learn to accept our mistakes and move on. Being confident in yourself is also about acknowledging your faults and not getting bogged down. Nobody gets to be the ideal person so why expect yourself to be?

You're doing an amazing job just as yourself right here, right now, today.

Big hugs!

Ellen xx


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