Updated: Dec 18, 2019
If you’re needing mental health assistance please call BeyondBlue on 1300 224 636. Or if social anxiety has got you good, you can always message for help at lifeline.org.au/get-help/onlineservices/crisischat/ or text White Wreath at 0410 526 562
"It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. To admit to someone, to admit to yourself, that you’re not perfect... You are brave, you are kind, you are amazing. Take a moment to ask someone for help today."
Sitting in a café, you wait for your coffee to be delivered to your table. That sweet, aromatic, magical elixir, that can change a persons attitude from grumpy to sweet in just a few sips. Looking around, you catch a glimpse of movement out of the corner of your eye. Turning to see what it is, you find the person at the table just across from you staring back.
They look exhausted, lost, worn down from the every day troubles and turmoil that seems to constantly appear throughout the day-to-day happenings of their life. The deep bags under their eyes show a huge lack of rest; the fidgeting of their fingers twisting the napkin show a high level of anxiety, not to mention the sound of their foot tapping on the floor under the table. But the bit that ties it all together? The bit that shows they need someone to talk to, to sit with, to offer to help them? It’s that sheen of unshed tears in their eyes.
You can so obviously see that they need help, and you’re the type of person that would willingly go over and ask them what you could do to help them. You would feel much better about yourself as a person if you could help them with whatever issue they are struggling. But even with how willing you are to comfort them, you can’t help but wonder why they are just sitting there on the verge of breaking. Why haven’t they gone to someone and asked for help? Don’t they know that it’s ok to ask for help?
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. To admit to someone, to admit to yourself, that you’re not perfect.
It takes courage to be ok with being imperfect. To tell the story of who you are and have not only the person listening to your story be proud of you and want to hear more, but to also have pride in yourself. It takes courage to believe wholeheartedly that you are worthy of love and belonging.
People so often believe that being vulnerable is a bad thing. That it’s a weakness. A person should never admit or reveal when they are feeling vulnerable because then others will use that against them, and manipulate them to their will. In a way this can be true. There are those who would do this to another person and not feel any guilt in doing so. This then brings about the warnings and advices from others to never show when and how you are vulnerable.
But the thing that many miss is that being vulnerable makes you a better person. As a whole, it’s not really a weakness. It’s actually pretty essential in getting each of us to appreciate ourselves better as a person.
Being able to admit that we are in fact imperfect and do need help with certain things in life then gives us the ability to show compassion. Not to others as yet, but by starting with showing compassion to ourselves, we are then better able to be kind to others.
The thing that we miss or forget by trying to be kinder, and worrying more about others than ourselves, is that we need to help ourselves too. We need to give ourselves permission to ask for help before we reach that fragile, breaking point.
Oh, here’s your coffee now.
After thanking the waitress, you look back over at the other table to give them a quick reassuring smile and notice something –
It was just a mirror.
You are brave, you are kind, you are amazing. Take a moment to ask someone for help today.